Stop Waiting to Feel Proud of Your Life
There’s something I’ve realized lately. A lot of us are waiting to feel proud of ourselves until we hit the “big” goal.
The promotion.
The relationship.
The amount in our savings account.
The body transformation.
The dream apartment.
The book deal.
The version of life we imagine will finally make us feel successful. And in the process, we accidentally disconnect ourselves from the life we are actively building right now.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about ambition, joy, and how easy it is to let one quietly steal the other.
The Problem With “I’ll Be Happy When…”
When I first started my podcast, I genuinely had no idea where it was going to lead.
I thought maybe I would do it for a few months.
Maybe a year.
But over time, I found joy in creating. I found my voice. I slowly built a community. And eventually, I found the courage to dream bigger. That’s the funny thing about dreams. They rarely arrive all at once. They build slowly. Quietly.
In little moments that almost don’t feel important enough at the time.
But somewhere along the way, I started doing something that honestly wasn’t fair to myself.
I kept moving the goalpost.
Every time I achieved something, I immediately focused on the next thing instead of allowing myself to actually feel proud.
I recently self-published my debut romance novel, All Parts of Me. And instead of fully celebrating the fact that I wrote and released a book — something younger me would have thought was impossible — I found myself thinking:
“Well… it’s not traditionally published.”
“It’s not on bookstore shelves.”
“The money didn’t magically come rushing in.”
“I haven’t fully made it yet.”
And suddenly, this huge milestone felt smaller than it actually was. Not because it lacked meaning. But because I had convinced myself it only counted if it reached a very specific version of success.
Ambition Can Quietly Steal Your Joy
We get caught in the next thing before taking a moment to celebrate the messy middle
One of the biggest realizations I had recently happened when people in my life wanted to celebrate me.
My best friend planned a celebration dinner for me after the release of my book. And instead of immediately thinking, “wow, this is so sweet,” my first thought was:
“I don’t deserve this yet.”
That sentence alone made me pause. Because what did I mean yet?I had already written the book.
I had already done the thing.
But because I hadn’t reached the “final” version of the dream in my head, I had unintentionally disqualified myself from experiencing joy in the present. And I know I’m not alone in that. So many of us have been conditioned to believe we can only celebrate once we’ve optimized every part of ourselves. Especially women. We’re taught to check every box before we allow ourselves to feel confident.
It’s why women are statistically less likely to apply for jobs unless they meet every listed requirement. We’ve internalized the idea that we have to be fully complete before we are allowed to take up space. But that mindset doesn’t just keep us striving.
It keeps us disconnected from our own lives.
Your Life Isn’t a Waiting Room
I think a lot of us unknowingly treat our lives like waiting rooms.
We tell ourselves:
I’ll be happy when I lose the weight.
I’ll be happy when I have more money.
I’ll be happy when I find the relationship.
I’ll be happy when I finally feel successful.
But what happens if we spend years of our lives postponing joy? What happens if we finally reach the goal… only to realize we never actually learned how to enjoy ourselves along the way?
Because here’s the truth:
There is always going to be another dream.
Another level.
Another milestone.
You never fully “arrive.” And honestly? That’s not a bad thing.
It means we’re evolving. It means we’re growing.
But if we’re always chasing the next version of ourselves, we risk abandoning the version that exists today.
Romanticizing the Middle
One thing I’ve been trying to practice more lately is romanticizing the middle.
Not just the big moments. The ordinary ones.
The random coffee shop mornings.
The walks with my dogs.
The quiet moments where I suddenly realize:
“Oh. I actually like the life I’m building.”
Those moments matter. More than we think. I think social media has made us feel like only the major milestones are worth documenting or celebrating. But real life mostly exists in the middle.
In the routines.
In the healing.
In the consistency.
In the moments where you notice you’re handling something differently than you would have a year ago.
In the mornings where peace quietly shows up beside you.
And sometimes, those moments can feel almost surreal. Like your body suddenly realizing:
“Wait… I never thought I’d feel this safe. This calm. This hopeful.”
Six Months Can Change Everything
Last October, I didn’t think I was writing a romance novel. I thought I was writing a letter. A letter to process grief. To let go of old pain. To process loneliness.
At the time, I remember coming home from a trip and realizing there was nobody there to greet me.
No one asking how the trip was.
No one waiting for me.
The next day, I didn’t talk to a single person.
And for the first time in a long time, I felt deeply alone.
So I wrote.
And somewhere along the way, that grief slowly transformed into a story about hope, vulnerability, and allowing yourself to love again.
Now, six months later, I’m sitting here talking about a published book.
If you had asked me then if this would happen, I probably would’ve laughed.
That’s why I think it’s so important to stop rushing through the middle of our lives.
You genuinely do not know where you’ll be six months from now.
Your life can shift in ways you never expected.
Not always perfectly.
Not always linearly.
But beautifully.
You Can Want More and Still Love Your Life Right Now
This is the biggest thing I hope people take away from this:
You do not have to choose between ambition and joy.
You can want more while still appreciating where you are.
You can hold gratitude and desire at the same time.
You can be healing and hopeful.
You can still be becoming while also honoring the person you already are.
Because this version of you?
She matters too.
Final Thoughts
Your dream life is not built from perfection.
It’s built from the awkward middle.
The shaky first steps.
The healing.
The failures.
The small wins.
The moments of joy.
The late nights.
The random breakthroughs.
The mornings where you decide to keep trying.
So stop speaking about your current life like it’s a punishment.
Because it isn’t.
One day, the version of you who is struggling right now may become the version you miss. So don’t rush through your becoming so quickly that you forget to actually live your life.
If this resonated with you, you can also listen to the full episode of Taking Up Space with Jordan on Spotify and YouTube.
